CRIMINAL STUPIDITY:A man in Ohio attempted to steal a police car last week, but couldn’t figure out how to start it. So Peter Theado did what I think any one of us would do – he got on the police radio and called dispatch for help.

He later told the cops who showed up to give him a free ride to jail he wanted to be a cop and was just trying to take the car out on “patrol” to protect the people of his town.

Meanwhile ... Tyechia Lorraine Rembert of Pennsylvania robbed a Burger King drive-through window and then called the restaurant to see if any witnesses saw her license-plate number.

The answer was ‘no’ … but thanks to her curiosity they did get her cell phone number from the call she made. Busted!